Self-Care

Gracefully Audacious: The long road

The long road to becoming Gracefully Audacious

Hi! I am Melissa. I just wanted to introduce myself and let you know why I am here, talking to you about these things. Becoming Gracefully Audacious was not easy. I had to learn self-care, how to love myself, and to let go of the pain.

When I decided to start a lifestyle blog in 2024, all the “experts” said, “don’t do it!”

I am a bit of a rebel at heart, and thought, “I do what I want!”

LOL! No, not really, I actually fretted over it a bit. I started the blog anyway, in hopes that my life, my journey helps someone, anyone!

Self-Care or lack-there-of
I never learned about self-care, at a young age. Growing up in rural New Mexico in the 70’s and 80’s there was no such thing as self-care. I was the youngest of three children. I was a momma’s girl, through and through. My mom did everything for us. She lived for her family. One thing she did not instill in her children, probably because she never had it taught to her, was grace and self-confidence. One trait I did have was audacity.

I was a boy mom, who has always been a tad on the “lazy” side. When raising my family, I let my needs go, in favor of theirs. My mom must have taught me that. I also did not instill the importance of self-confidence or self-care to my boys. I did teach them it was important to be themselves, be unique.

In 2017ish, my kids moved out, but I still only occasionally took time for myself. I just did not think it was important. 2020 hit. You know, that infamous virus that shut down the world. We all worked from home. Some of us really worked from home. I was working insane hours, trying to make sure that everything was done, and nothing fell through the cracks. Still no time for self-care or anything that remotely resembled it, or so I thought. Was the the universe about to teach me a lesson!

Grief
May 2020, I turn 50.

October 2020, my oldest son turns 29.
Three days later, he passes away.
My life shatters in an instant.
Part of my soul left this world… forever.

February 2023, I lost my father.

January 2024, I lost my mother.

My world was shattered in 2020, 2023 and again in 2024. My mother and I were so very close. I talked to her every single day. I was able to handle her loss, the grief, hole in my life, only due to the work I had done on myself after the loss of my son. Self-development led me to be able to look at the joy in her life, rather than the sadness in mine.

Gracefully Audacious
I am not going to go into the whole grief thing in this post, but lets just say, I learned how important that taking care of myself was, what self-care looked like for me and how it can look different for others, I CAN take care of myself, while being there for others, I actually enjoy taking care of myself. Who knew???

Through all this, I learned that I can age gracefully. It is okay to go grey, to embrace the natural highlights in my hair, to age. Not being on all the time is perfectly acceptable. Slow down when needed. It is okay to ask for help, it will not make you appear weak.

Why Gracefully Audacious? I read this book a couple of years ago, called Style Statement (not a sponsored link). You looked a several areas of you life and you came up with two opposing words that summed up either the person you are or the person you want to become. I have always had a bit of audaciousness to my life, but I really wanted to add more grace and class.

I really look forward to sharing this journey with you.